I'm getting a dog. But adopt or shop?
Can I buy a puppy or does that make me as bad as everyone else? Plus the easiest and most nostalgic pudding in the world, and a JOYFUL new telly series
Have you heard the phrase ‘adopt, don’t shop’? I think it’s horrible but it’s what people often chant nowadays at those who say they’re thinking about getting a dog. You should adopt a dog which needs a new home, in other words, and not simply buy a puppy because you think it looks cute.
I dislike the phrase not for its sentiment, but because it implies that people go ‘shopping’ for dogs as casually as they do a new pair of shoes - ‘Those look lovely, have you got them in an eight?’ - when, ideally, those who are thinking of becoming dog owners should have done a bit more homework.
I appreciate that since the pandemic and the resulting 20 per cent rise in dog ownership in Britain, quite a lot of people have bought a Cockapoo after seeing one in the park. But I don’t believe I’m one of those who’s decided to get a dog on a whim. I’ve been mulling it over for a while. A couple of years, probably. It’s as if my biological clock has gone off not for babies but for dogs, and I increasingly find myself walking around my local park gurgling at other people’s puppies.
I know about them too. Or at least I know a bit because we’re a doggy family. Beano, my mother’s terrier, is essentially my slightly dim youngest sibling.
His predecessor, Trumpet, was a rescue Parson terrier. My siblings and I bought Beano as a present for Mum five years ago when Trumpet was looking wobbly on his back legs. Having seen an advert for Parson terrier puppies on the Pets4Home website, my sister responsibly Facetimed the breeder to check that he wasn’t coming from a puppy farm and we duly motored up to Manchester to collect him.
Actually, I’m not sure Karen the breeder was that responsible. On arrival in Manchester, Mum, Rosie and I were ushered into a depressing, unfurnished terraced house that smelt of damp, possibly because it had a lone fish tank in one corner. Karen disappeared into a back room and returned with the puppy and the same fag in her mouth. She thrust her bank details under my nose, so I transferred the dosh before muttering to my sister that we needed to get out of there.
We hurried back to my car as if a hostage handover had just taken place, and I spun it around, wheels practically screeching, only for Karen to flag us down and lean through the window.
‘Money’s not in,’ she growled.
There followed an exciting few moments while Karen loitered in front of my car and I called my bank to check it had gone through (it had).
‘It’s a scam,’ I muttered.
‘We should have brought cash,’ Mum said faintly from the back, clutching her new puppy.
In the end, the cash landed (phew) and we were allowed to go. But the whole experience put me off Pets4Homes, and almost every single other website flogging puppies. How do you know if you’re buying responsibly? Do you have to go via the Kennel Club website or someone you know? I remember a Sloaney man once boasting to me that his Labrador descended from the same line as the Duke of Buccleuch’s, but I don’t want an aristocratic dog. Just one that hasn’t been so inbred it can’t breathe properly.
Should I adopt instead? There are plenty of dogs which need rehoming, these days. But I have my heart set on a particular breed and I haven’t seen any up for adoption. (Having considered various types of terrier, I’m after a Westie because they’re characters, intelligent and supposedly not that tricky to train, a good size for London and generally said to be very good first dogs). Is setting one’s heart on a particular breed too narrow-minded when so many dogs are looking for adoption? Does wanting a Westie make me as bad as those people who are now buying Bernedoodles because they’re fashionable?
I also worry that only those who’ve owned dogs before and have more experience should adopt them. Or is that a cop out? I’m around small children fairly often and I’m nervous about taking on a dog that doesn’t like them, or isn’t used to having fistfuls of hair tugged by enthusiastic toddlers. Does that make a puppy a more sensible choice? The other day, I saw a woman walk past my house with a dog wearing a high-vis jacket that said ‘I’m nervous, give me space!’ (The dog was wearing this, not the woman). I have huge admiration for those who adopt anxious or previously maltreated dogs and give them plenty of TLC, but although I’ve grown up with them, I've never had my own and am not sure I’m experienced enough to have one that may be troubled.
Oh what a conundrum. My family have had two adored rescue dogs, but another who bit and sadly had to be put down. You may not know quite what you’re getting with a rescue, seems to be the thing. But some might say the same with puppies. Paul, my other half, has also been thinking about getting a dog for some time, although we like different breeds and he’s more up for rehoming than me. We’ve discussed getting puppies from the same litter but something about that feels slightly insufferable to me?? I feel like the sort of couple who does that might start referring to their dogs as their ‘babies’. Also, puppies from the same litter might try and shag one another when they get older, a friend warned on the weekend.
I interviewed David Gandy once and he offered to give me a tour of Battersea Dogs & Cats Home because he’s an ambassador, so maybe I should give him a ring (I haven’t mentioned this idea to Paul yet). Although before any of this, I need to get my fence fixed so whoever I end up with can’t chase the foxes from the den at the back of my garden through the streets of Crystal Palace. Any thoughts/suggestions/tips on PUPPIES or DOGS or WESTIES very welcome in the comments below. For instance, TikTok is apparently very good for dog training videos, someone told me. Does this mean I’m going to have to start using it?
Picture of the week
Behold, this rice pudding! Have you ever seen anything more delicious in all your life? It’s not very modest of me because I made it, and you may HATE rice pudding in which case, quick, scurry on to the next item. But if you DO like rice pudding, then can I recommend THIS RECIPE from the BBC website. I often have a peculiar craving for rice pudding and buy Ambrosia. I love Ambrosia rice pudding, cold or hot, straight from the plastic pot OR tin. But the other day I thought, how hard can it be to make rice pudding? And the answer is, not much harder than scrambled eggs, I promise. As this recipe says, get yourself some pudding rice (or risotto or paella rice works just as well), bit of sugar, bit of milk, splash of double cream, generous grating of nutmeg, few drops of vanilla essence if you have it in the back of your cupboard. Into the oven for an hour or so. Out it comes. Slap on a fat dollop of jam. Or these maraschino cherries which were OUTRAGEOUS with it. It is nurseries and rocking horses and pinafore dresses and Mary Poppins in a mouthful. It is comforting and delicious. It is not very slimming, on the other hand, but who cares? I doubled the amount of cream for the rice pudding above (and therefore slightly reduced the amount of milk) because I’m greedy. You don’t need to bake it for an hour and a half as that recipe says; I’ve baked it quite hot for an hour-ish and it was perfect. I’ve now made it three times in the past three weeks and everyone goes ‘OOOOH, rice pudding!’ when you bring it out as if you’ve made an enormous effort when HONESTLY you won’t have done. It is h-e-a-v-e-n.
Recommendation of the week
Highwaymen are having a moment. And highwaywomen, actually, so perhaps we should say highwaypeople. Anyway, Noel Fielding is playing Dick Turpin on Apple while Sally Wainwright’s new show, Renegade Nell, about an 18th century runaway-turned-highwaywoman has just launched on Disney+. You know Sally Wainwright. She’s the astoundingly brilliant writer who gave us things like Happy Valley, The Last Tango In Halifax and Gentleman Jack. I’ve only seen the first episode of Dick Turpin which was funny in a couple of places but otherwise quite silly. Renegade Nell is much better. Way better. Young Nell (Orla from Derry Girls) is framed for a murder, goes on the run with her younger sisters and becomes a highwaywomen to support them. But not just any old highwaywoman. A highwaywoman who can fling men 20 foot and catch bullets and bull whips with her bare hands thanks to a little Tinkerbell-type creature who appears to protect her whenever she’s in danger, played by Nick Mohammed (the sweet, funny assistant coach in Ted Lasso). You also get Adrian Lester as a sort of Voldemort.
Sounds a bit weird, I know, but it’s really FUN and funny (I like the drôle posh boy who introduced himself as ‘a toff and a total waste of space’), and spectacularly shot, so you get idyllic 18th century market towns, lush forests, big houses and so on. Even an early funeral scene made me go ‘Oh, look at that nice sunrise!’ Also the soundtrack is excellent. Immensely engrossing escapism, if you’re in the mood for that, and all the episodes have dropped so there’s none of that olden-days waiting about for the next one.
PS. A bonus ball recommendation this week, which is THIS PIECE by John Sturgis in The Spectator on silly names, slightly narcissistically because I’m mentioned in it. But also because it’s funny and I agree with him. Give us more Antigones and Peregrines indeed.
Nonsense of the week
Talking of telly, have we now mined the Prince Andrew interview to death? This Thursday, Scoop, the first of two dramatisations of the famous Emily Maitlis interview lands on Netflix. The second one, A Very Royal Scandal, is coming to Amazon later in the year. Now, I’m a big fan of Emily Maitlis. I’m a big fan of journalism. I am interested in the goings-on of the Royal family. But how can anything top the drama and absurdity of the original interview? Why sit through a fake Prince Andrew doing the same interview when the first one was so unbeatable? The real Prince Andrew played himself extremely well and I really can’t see that Rufus Sewell or Michael Sheen will be able to do him any better. I went to a talk between The Thick Of It creator Armando Iannucci and Helen Lewis last week, and he said a lot of terrific TV is still being made among a lot of dross, but I reckon these adaptations could fall into the latter category. I don’t understand why one of them, let alone two, needed to be made so soon?? Maybe it’ll be brilliant and we’ll all be gripped, but if you’re in doubt over what to watch this weekend I’d stick with swashbuckling Nell, above.
I can’t recommend The Dogs Trust enough - we adopted a 12 year old Springer Spaniel whose owner had sadly died. As a family we decided that such a dog should not spend their remaining years in a kennel, no matter how kind they were. We gave her a loving home for her remaining years until she was almost 15. Of course we were heartbroken, but we were grateful to have had her for the three years we did - the Trust were so helpful in ascertaining her nature and what sort of home she should have. I believe the Dogs Trust have a scheme whereby dog owners who maybe have no close family can set up a scheme in case the worst should happen, and the Dogs Trust will guarantee to find the dog a good home. Perfect solution for all concerned. 🐶❤️
I cannot advocate for sighthounds (whippets/lurchers/g-hounds) highly enough. The require minimal walking, are very quiet and clean, LOVE human company and also look incredibly chic to boot. I'd be mindful of having a terrier next door to a fox's earth; after all, the majority of terriers are pre-disposed to digging down to them! Best of luck.