No words of wisdom on the big stuff, I’m afraid, but as a Jack Russell owner living in the country, can I recommend an extendable lead for Dennis’s nightime wees? I started using one because we get hedgehogs in the garden, but it also means you can stay dry if it’s raining, and you know exactly where he is. He also gets the message that he’s out there for just one thing.
(If you find a better looking male to share your bed, you’ll be doing well!)
I’m glad you were able to force down some of that delicious-looking chicken.❤️
Recipe looks fab; I’ve been dithering about whether to get the book but will do now. Re the other book; life’s too short, ditch it. Adrian will tell you know literally everything you need to know about life. 🌸
I did try and warn you that All Fours might not be just the ticket right now. Back in the day it would have made me feel deeply uncool to not ‘get it’. Now I just feel relief that I couldn’t connect with the whiny navel-gazing narcissistic, untrustworthy, clearly unhinged ‘heroine’ in any way. (I did rate the best friend though) Stick with Dennis and Adrian!
Sending all love to you as you navigate this heartache. My 20 year old daughter has a broken heart too and I’ve been trying to help her mend it. It takes time, doesn’t it? Crappy answer, but there it is. And if it helps, I fell in love with my husband as a single mum when that 20yo was 6 month's old. It was a baptism of fire for all three of us. Any future potential partner you meet must pass the Dennis barometer test. If they don’t want to share you with Dennis, then they're clearly unworthy.
Completely agree! While I am married for nearly 30 years, if my husband were to go, it would be me and the dogs...and anyone else who came into my life would have to deal with them!
I totally agree with you on All Fours. I gave up on it, having struggled to about half way because I kept thinking I must be missing something given all the hype and recommendations. I'm middle-aged and married (and an interior designer!) yet found this so completely unrelatable in every way. The endless navel-gazing actually made me quite cross and I considered giving it one star on Amazon (I haven't since I know how hard it is to write a novel so don't want to knock anyone). But honestly, what a selfish, solipsistic, unpleasant character! I'm new to your Substack - it's great, everything I want to read about in one go. Totally love Dennis - dogs are the best for getting through tough times. When I was single, I used to have a Jack Russell who slept with me and growl at male visitors, then claw at the door whining when I shut him out, so that made me laugh a lot! Thank you. x
Ok fine am ditching it, delightedly. Although that's v kind re reviews because it's true. It is hard. And hope you like the back catalogue, thank you! X
Your newsletters are sheer joy. Woke up this morning deeply depressed after watching all of the 7th October ceremonies- and racing to the safe room when the sirens went off. Sat down to my compiuter to start working, feeling deeply weary- and then I read your writing and suddenly there is sun in the room, and hope of a different reality ahead. Upwards and Onwards (to paraphrase!)
I've only just had breakfast but that chicken dish looks insanely good! Thank you for making your newsletters so readable.....you make everything feel accessible and much as I love and admire Pandora Sykes's newsletter I often feel that my hinterland is scorched earth compared to hers!
I hope Dennis will soon be old enough to 'go through the night'?!
Thank GOD I’m not the only one who just didn’t like All Fours. I slogged through it - wanted to know how it ended - but resented the time it stole from my life to do so! I can’t understand the hype …
Sorry to say that once on the bed they don’t want to leave! Like children you have to start as you mean to go on - but if a future man in your life doesn’t want to share you with Dennis - then he’s not “the one”.
Was hoping for an update on the hoover/vacuum situation? Which makes me want to ask the question which is it! Probably an etiquette issue!!
Regarding your reading list, I would love to hear more about the attachment theory book, if it stands up to expectations. Attachment is something we all struggle with - either our own or deconstructing someone else’s.
Thank you. And it's just called Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? I did vaguely know about it but think I'd forgotten and it basically exxxxactly describes what's just happened in my relationship. Almost spooky. Loss of independence, total shutting down etc. So super helpful. If you have any other recs am all ears as would love to dive into more X
Well Sophia this newsletter was a joy! Now I don’t know your break up back story, being new to your writing, but may I say that any man who can leave their jointly owned dog is not a man to build a life with? Also, dogs know things, so Dennis will be an excellent judge of future boyfriend character.
Heartbreak just plain sucks. Whatever you do, don’t do what I did post break up and agree to marry the first man you date, after knowing them for only nine days. I have a feeling you won’t do this, as it’s very stupid. I was young, what can I say. It’s been extremely expensive unravelling from it. (3 kids, 1 divorce, 7 court appearances and counting… oh the fun we’ve had).
Ah to be fair he wasn't jointly owned. I v much forged ahead with getting him after our dog discussions. But yes I take your point completely and thank you! And noted on the marriage front. Poor you, am sorry. But at least you're (almost) out?! X
Out, in as much as one can be out when there are three children. Glad to hear you are not coparenting Dennis, much less messy. I look forward to hearing Dennis’ POV on future suitors.
I’m loving these posts so much. I think so much personal writing nowadays feels - a bit fake? - but these posts are like near-live reporting from a break up. And still funny!
I’m single and selling my flat and when I move getting a little dog. Whippet I think.
No! It’s not worth it! Give up on All Fours! I so wanted to love this book, all the cool and erudite people do, but I found it irritating. I can’t spend 200 pages of my life being annoyed. Nor should you. Pitch it!
I hope you don’t mind the casual observation. How do you feel about the ciggies? I just don’t see you as a “Capstan – Full Strength” (showing my age somewhat there), but I presume it’s not “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” stuff with the cigarette holder ala Audrey Hepburn? Could that be putting potential suitors off? One thing though, Mr Darcy when he gets out of the pond dripping wet will put what ever you are smoking out when he drips all over you? (That’s not a euphemism either!) I do note the “Thats it”. Make it so.
I think you need to take a pragmatic approach. You asked : ever fancied someone after they’ve watched them bend over with a poo bag and scrape up several leaves and twigs at the same time?
I would say there’s a good chance a fellow dog owner might spot your posterior before they spot the poo bag. Be positive. Dennis might enable an unexpected rendezvous with some one who saw your bum in tight jeans. Think of their joy when they see a nice person too.
Again, accept Dennis’s unconditional love in the absence of any another. Get Dennis a warm as toast bed in a basket or dog bed that is irresistible. Dogs sleep on the bed because they don’t like drafty rooms. They are also pack animals, so there will always be the urge to sleep with the “leader.” It might be that you have to have a bed for Dennis in the kitchen too. Dog’s love AGA’s.
Good hunting, but be the hunted not the hunter. A dog lover might be a better catch.
No words of wisdom on the big stuff, I’m afraid, but as a Jack Russell owner living in the country, can I recommend an extendable lead for Dennis’s nightime wees? I started using one because we get hedgehogs in the garden, but it also means you can stay dry if it’s raining, and you know exactly where he is. He also gets the message that he’s out there for just one thing.
(If you find a better looking male to share your bed, you’ll be doing well!)
I’m glad you were able to force down some of that delicious-looking chicken.❤️
Oh hedgehogs! Sweet. We just get mangy foxes...And thank you! X
Recipe looks fab; I’ve been dithering about whether to get the book but will do now. Re the other book; life’s too short, ditch it. Adrian will tell you know literally everything you need to know about life. 🌸
OH I AM being thick. Adrian Mole! Gotcha! X
Hang on am I being thick - who's Adrian?! X
I did try and warn you that All Fours might not be just the ticket right now. Back in the day it would have made me feel deeply uncool to not ‘get it’. Now I just feel relief that I couldn’t connect with the whiny navel-gazing narcissistic, untrustworthy, clearly unhinged ‘heroine’ in any way. (I did rate the best friend though) Stick with Dennis and Adrian!
Ok noted, thank you! X
Sending all love to you as you navigate this heartache. My 20 year old daughter has a broken heart too and I’ve been trying to help her mend it. It takes time, doesn’t it? Crappy answer, but there it is. And if it helps, I fell in love with my husband as a single mum when that 20yo was 6 month's old. It was a baptism of fire for all three of us. Any future potential partner you meet must pass the Dennis barometer test. If they don’t want to share you with Dennis, then they're clearly unworthy.
Time time time. It's true! Sending big love and solidarity back to her X
Completely agree! While I am married for nearly 30 years, if my husband were to go, it would be me and the dogs...and anyone else who came into my life would have to deal with them!
I totally agree with you on All Fours. I gave up on it, having struggled to about half way because I kept thinking I must be missing something given all the hype and recommendations. I'm middle-aged and married (and an interior designer!) yet found this so completely unrelatable in every way. The endless navel-gazing actually made me quite cross and I considered giving it one star on Amazon (I haven't since I know how hard it is to write a novel so don't want to knock anyone). But honestly, what a selfish, solipsistic, unpleasant character! I'm new to your Substack - it's great, everything I want to read about in one go. Totally love Dennis - dogs are the best for getting through tough times. When I was single, I used to have a Jack Russell who slept with me and growl at male visitors, then claw at the door whining when I shut him out, so that made me laugh a lot! Thank you. x
Ok fine am ditching it, delightedly. Although that's v kind re reviews because it's true. It is hard. And hope you like the back catalogue, thank you! X
Your newsletters are sheer joy. Woke up this morning deeply depressed after watching all of the 7th October ceremonies- and racing to the safe room when the sirens went off. Sat down to my compiuter to start working, feeling deeply weary- and then I read your writing and suddenly there is sun in the room, and hope of a different reality ahead. Upwards and Onwards (to paraphrase!)
I'm so so sorry for the sirens and...everything else. But I'm SO glad that this has cheered! There is sun in the room! X
Okay, there's a film I definitely need to see!
I'm afraid I found All Fours a bit of a slog too (though on the other hand I'm hardly her target audience).
I've only just had breakfast but that chicken dish looks insanely good! Thank you for making your newsletters so readable.....you make everything feel accessible and much as I love and admire Pandora Sykes's newsletter I often feel that my hinterland is scorched earth compared to hers!
I hope Dennis will soon be old enough to 'go through the night'?!
Thank GOD I’m not the only one who just didn’t like All Fours. I slogged through it - wanted to know how it ended - but resented the time it stole from my life to do so! I can’t understand the hype …
Sorry to say that once on the bed they don’t want to leave! Like children you have to start as you mean to go on - but if a future man in your life doesn’t want to share you with Dennis - then he’s not “the one”.
Was hoping for an update on the hoover/vacuum situation? Which makes me want to ask the question which is it! Probably an etiquette issue!!
Enjoy the weekend.
Regarding your reading list, I would love to hear more about the attachment theory book, if it stands up to expectations. Attachment is something we all struggle with - either our own or deconstructing someone else’s.
Wishing you better days ahead.
Thank you. And it's just called Attached: Are you Anxious, Avoidant or Secure? I did vaguely know about it but think I'd forgotten and it basically exxxxactly describes what's just happened in my relationship. Almost spooky. Loss of independence, total shutting down etc. So super helpful. If you have any other recs am all ears as would love to dive into more X
Well Sophia this newsletter was a joy! Now I don’t know your break up back story, being new to your writing, but may I say that any man who can leave their jointly owned dog is not a man to build a life with? Also, dogs know things, so Dennis will be an excellent judge of future boyfriend character.
Heartbreak just plain sucks. Whatever you do, don’t do what I did post break up and agree to marry the first man you date, after knowing them for only nine days. I have a feeling you won’t do this, as it’s very stupid. I was young, what can I say. It’s been extremely expensive unravelling from it. (3 kids, 1 divorce, 7 court appearances and counting… oh the fun we’ve had).
Ah to be fair he wasn't jointly owned. I v much forged ahead with getting him after our dog discussions. But yes I take your point completely and thank you! And noted on the marriage front. Poor you, am sorry. But at least you're (almost) out?! X
Out, in as much as one can be out when there are three children. Glad to hear you are not coparenting Dennis, much less messy. I look forward to hearing Dennis’ POV on future suitors.
I’m loving these posts so much. I think so much personal writing nowadays feels - a bit fake? - but these posts are like near-live reporting from a break up. And still funny!
I’m single and selling my flat and when I move getting a little dog. Whippet I think.
No! It’s not worth it! Give up on All Fours! I so wanted to love this book, all the cool and erudite people do, but I found it irritating. I can’t spend 200 pages of my life being annoyed. Nor should you. Pitch it!
Exactly re the cool people! Ok thank you for permission X
Sophia,
I hope you don’t mind the casual observation. How do you feel about the ciggies? I just don’t see you as a “Capstan – Full Strength” (showing my age somewhat there), but I presume it’s not “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” stuff with the cigarette holder ala Audrey Hepburn? Could that be putting potential suitors off? One thing though, Mr Darcy when he gets out of the pond dripping wet will put what ever you are smoking out when he drips all over you? (That’s not a euphemism either!) I do note the “Thats it”. Make it so.
I think you need to take a pragmatic approach. You asked : ever fancied someone after they’ve watched them bend over with a poo bag and scrape up several leaves and twigs at the same time?
I would say there’s a good chance a fellow dog owner might spot your posterior before they spot the poo bag. Be positive. Dennis might enable an unexpected rendezvous with some one who saw your bum in tight jeans. Think of their joy when they see a nice person too.
Again, accept Dennis’s unconditional love in the absence of any another. Get Dennis a warm as toast bed in a basket or dog bed that is irresistible. Dogs sleep on the bed because they don’t like drafty rooms. They are also pack animals, so there will always be the urge to sleep with the “leader.” It might be that you have to have a bed for Dennis in the kitchen too. Dog’s love AGA’s.
Good hunting, but be the hunted not the hunter. A dog lover might be a better catch.
I promise, next Monday that's it. You can hold me to it! just a crutch for the past few weeks. And thank you!