Also, why you should never use the doughnut emoji, a good weekend lunch, a book, The White Lotus finale, and the most embarrassing thing Dennis has EVER done...
My mother had a dog that peed on Prince Philip’s boot. No idea why she was anywhere near the boot or whether he was in it at the time. Perpetrator and witnesses all dead so full details of dog etiquette car crash to end all will never be known.
Thanks Sophia! I loved your piece – funny and very timely: I was in the middle of wondering what on earth I was going to wear to a wedding – and thinking about writing a piece about dog etiquette, until I realised that it would offend half my friends… and a paid subscriber (don’t)… and the son-in-law of my agent (definitely don’t), so the world may never realise that they shouldn’t let their dog pee on the boot of a passing royal ..
The RF are quite doggy though, aren’t they so I should think
his boot had been pee’d on by more than one corgi in its time. I think I remember reading that he’d had his boots since Adam were a lad so maybe dog pee is a leather conditioner. I would love to know the details!
Good point – dog was probably just joining the throng. I would love to know the details too.. I only know about it because when I might have met P Ph in a line up after a show (I didn't) my father said, 'make sure to tell him your mother's dog cocked his leg on his polo boot'...
I plan to wear the very expensive Oscar de la Renta dress I wore (and absolutely love) as MOTG at my son’s wedding last Fall to as many of the seven(!!!) wedding’s we have been invited to this summer. I agree, I’m 68 and no one’s looking at me.
I once splurged on a gorgeous and distinctive pair of shoes. They're Miu Miu mary janes. They're leopard print. They have rhinestones embedded in the heel. They cost a fortune. I wear them to every. single. event (weddings, parties, premieres etc). because I love them. They're my only dressy high heels. I don't need or want another pair.
I actually love seeing people wear the same things to events because, to me, it indicates 1. a care for their clothes, 2. less consumption (something I spend a lot of time thinking about lately), 3. especially if it's something beautiful, an adherence to the same sort of approach I have which is 'find the perfect, beautifully made, expensive thing. Take good care of it. Wear the absolute shit out of it'.
Re: dog peeing on someone's leg. I laughed so hard. I can't imagine. I'd be utterly mortified but then what can you do?! Glad it was a new park. OBVS never go there again.
Re: AI. I hate AI. I hate it hate it hate it. Hate what it's doing to our humanity. I also use it to find quick answers for things. I am part of the problem here.
I so agree re something beautifully made. The stylist Ginnie Chadwyck-Healey is v good on recommending brands for this if you're on insta and don't know of her. The other good thing about those mary janes is that presumably they're now immensely comfortable. Or maybe they always were. I worry about mary janes myself because I have big feet and feel like I'll look like am wearing canoes?!
Love the sound of your shoes. I wore a pair of elderly but well cared for Patrick Cox Mary Janes to my daughter’s wedding with trousers and a Shibumi coat, the lining of which matched the shoes: Schiaparelli pink. Felt a bit of a devil for wearing trousers but my mother was too infirm to attend the wedding so she wasn’t there to raise an eyebrow. M&S beret for MoTB hat, which might have caused the other eyebrow to rise. 😱
My parents had a toy poodle who would wee on my mother’s leg whenever she wore a pair of straight legged grey trousers. My father firmly believed that the dog mistook Mum’s leg for a lamppost. She really loved those trousers but the dry cleaning bills were horrendous…
John Scalzi has it in his contract that his covers have to be drawn by human beings — sounds like it's time for everyone to start making the same demand about translations.
And forget about 'everyone's looking at the bride'. Judging by the photo, you're _obviously_ the main character in that movie!
I suspect people soon will do this. I also don't think literary publishing is doing this yet. It's the commercial end. But it did sadden me. My friend also said publishers will soon put it in contracts that writers have to confirm they didn't use any AI in the writing of the book. I feel a bit like we're reverting to school and everyone is cheating on their essays!
I’ve been peed on at Lake Hollywood Park, where there are a lot of dogs running around. I don’t know why it happened, but I took it as a compliment. So should the birder.
Pretty sure I've used donut emojis in a food context at some point and sincerely hoping recipient took it at face value. Checking the others now, thank you!
Hahaha. My dog (Mr Bozzle, a pug and total d head) has done EXACTLY this to someone. The man, a fellow dog walker, was happily chatting away to me, as dog walkers do, when Mr B did the deed up his wellies. It was a real
Ninja pee, too fast for me to stop him. To my shame, I ignored it as the man was oblivious.
Ps: Your rented dress is lovely! Was the dress code for that wedding “morning wear?” I am flummoxed by what this actually means (I have a wedding in July.)
Hmmm, is it an English wedding? I'm assuming that means morning coats, which is tails for men and pretty dressed up for women. Maybe hats. Although hats are rarer and rarer these days (I suspect because it's yet another thing to have to spend money on.)
Oh Dennis! I feel like all us owners of naughty dogs should live in the same area, maybe overlooking a park. We can meet there are let our pups wee on each others boots and chase each other and maybe eat each others poos. The dogs that is.
I have just had a proper LOL readng about Denis. I can just picture the earnest orthinologist (anybody with a serious big camera taking shots of the bay at Sa Tuna always strike me as being comical/total twit). How was Denis to know he wasn´t an appropriate place to lift his leg!
I also loved the image of Denis nonchantantly sauntering off while you were apologising on his behalf and taking the opportunity to snuffle up the ice cream cornet.
Do you think the renting route could work for evening wear in the South of France? Can’t face slogging up to London! Any provincial outlets that you know of?
I just love Dennis - I’m a number one fan. 🥇 🥇 Is that the correct emoji?
Vinted for wedding outfits! Vinted! Because of EXACTLY the fear you describe, women are buying outfits for weddings, wearing them once, and then STICKING THEM ON VINTED! The place is awash with formalwear. Also heels, worn once in great hope, and abandoned in realism.
Oh Dennis! I’ve been peed on by my father’s ghastly girlfriend’s dog - think the dog sensed my hostility. Didn’t work, he married the gf anyway.
I did well re wedding outfits by having three or four distinct and entirely separate groups of friends so I could recycle each outfit several times before a repeat - also hat + fancy jacket meant I could wear neutral office top, bottoms and shoes and bag with them which lightened the financial load somewhat - this was 1997- c.2008 so not repeating outfits has been a thing for a long time. More recently I found quite a number of wedding appropriate dresses at Gina Bacconi with pretty hefty discounts. It took *quite* a lot of trawling, mind you, and go to the actual website not John Lewis which has a much smaller range, but could be worth investigation if you do want something new. I wouldn’t have been able to risk renting anything due to my propensity for throwing food and wine down my front. VERY high risk and anxiety-inducing.
My mother had a dog that peed on Prince Philip’s boot. No idea why she was anywhere near the boot or whether he was in it at the time. Perpetrator and witnesses all dead so full details of dog etiquette car crash to end all will never be known.
This is MAGNIFICENT and exactly the kind of comment I expect and encourage on my Substack. Well done and thank you, Lizzie.
Thanks Sophia! I loved your piece – funny and very timely: I was in the middle of wondering what on earth I was going to wear to a wedding – and thinking about writing a piece about dog etiquette, until I realised that it would offend half my friends… and a paid subscriber (don’t)… and the son-in-law of my agent (definitely don’t), so the world may never realise that they shouldn’t let their dog pee on the boot of a passing royal ..
The RF are quite doggy though, aren’t they so I should think
his boot had been pee’d on by more than one corgi in its time. I think I remember reading that he’d had his boots since Adam were a lad so maybe dog pee is a leather conditioner. I would love to know the details!
Good point – dog was probably just joining the throng. I would love to know the details too.. I only know about it because when I might have met P Ph in a line up after a show (I didn't) my father said, 'make sure to tell him your mother's dog cocked his leg on his polo boot'...
I plan to wear the very expensive Oscar de la Renta dress I wore (and absolutely love) as MOTG at my son’s wedding last Fall to as many of the seven(!!!) wedding’s we have been invited to this summer. I agree, I’m 68 and no one’s looking at me.
OOOOOH fancy! I would wear it ALL the time, to everything, and possibly to bed. Quite right.
Re: outfits.
I once splurged on a gorgeous and distinctive pair of shoes. They're Miu Miu mary janes. They're leopard print. They have rhinestones embedded in the heel. They cost a fortune. I wear them to every. single. event (weddings, parties, premieres etc). because I love them. They're my only dressy high heels. I don't need or want another pair.
I actually love seeing people wear the same things to events because, to me, it indicates 1. a care for their clothes, 2. less consumption (something I spend a lot of time thinking about lately), 3. especially if it's something beautiful, an adherence to the same sort of approach I have which is 'find the perfect, beautifully made, expensive thing. Take good care of it. Wear the absolute shit out of it'.
Re: dog peeing on someone's leg. I laughed so hard. I can't imagine. I'd be utterly mortified but then what can you do?! Glad it was a new park. OBVS never go there again.
Re: AI. I hate AI. I hate it hate it hate it. Hate what it's doing to our humanity. I also use it to find quick answers for things. I am part of the problem here.
Re: emojis. But what if you really love donuts?
I so agree re something beautifully made. The stylist Ginnie Chadwyck-Healey is v good on recommending brands for this if you're on insta and don't know of her. The other good thing about those mary janes is that presumably they're now immensely comfortable. Or maybe they always were. I worry about mary janes myself because I have big feet and feel like I'll look like am wearing canoes?!
Love the sound of your shoes. I wore a pair of elderly but well cared for Patrick Cox Mary Janes to my daughter’s wedding with trousers and a Shibumi coat, the lining of which matched the shoes: Schiaparelli pink. Felt a bit of a devil for wearing trousers but my mother was too infirm to attend the wedding so she wasn’t there to raise an eyebrow. M&S beret for MoTB hat, which might have caused the other eyebrow to rise. 😱
My parents had a toy poodle who would wee on my mother’s leg whenever she wore a pair of straight legged grey trousers. My father firmly believed that the dog mistook Mum’s leg for a lamppost. She really loved those trousers but the dry cleaning bills were horrendous…
Properly laughing at Dennis and also in a strange way slightly admiring him.
He will be THRILLED. He is one tomorrow and we're all very excited.
DENNIS!!!!!
Well quite...😬
John Scalzi has it in his contract that his covers have to be drawn by human beings — sounds like it's time for everyone to start making the same demand about translations.
And forget about 'everyone's looking at the bride'. Judging by the photo, you're _obviously_ the main character in that movie!
I suspect people soon will do this. I also don't think literary publishing is doing this yet. It's the commercial end. But it did sadden me. My friend also said publishers will soon put it in contracts that writers have to confirm they didn't use any AI in the writing of the book. I feel a bit like we're reverting to school and everyone is cheating on their essays!
I’ve been peed on at Lake Hollywood Park, where there are a lot of dogs running around. I don’t know why it happened, but I took it as a compliment. So should the birder.
He definitely didn't look like he thought it was a compliment at the time, but maybe he's since reconsidered?!
Pretty sure I've used donut emojis in a food context at some point and sincerely hoping recipient took it at face value. Checking the others now, thank you!
Hahaha. My dog (Mr Bozzle, a pug and total d head) has done EXACTLY this to someone. The man, a fellow dog walker, was happily chatting away to me, as dog walkers do, when Mr B did the deed up his wellies. It was a real
Ninja pee, too fast for me to stop him. To my shame, I ignored it as the man was oblivious.
Ps: Your rented dress is lovely! Was the dress code for that wedding “morning wear?” I am flummoxed by what this actually means (I have a wedding in July.)
Hmmm, is it an English wedding? I'm assuming that means morning coats, which is tails for men and pretty dressed up for women. Maybe hats. Although hats are rarer and rarer these days (I suspect because it's yet another thing to have to spend money on.)
Yes, an English wedding. I’ve never been to a wedding where the guests wore tails, only the groomsmen.
Again you have brightened my morning! I have Mabel who is Denis’ alter ego……. She’s my “scruffy bitch”!
Oh Dennis! I feel like all us owners of naughty dogs should live in the same area, maybe overlooking a park. We can meet there are let our pups wee on each others boots and chase each other and maybe eat each others poos. The dogs that is.
I would REALLY love that apart from the poo bit.
I have just had a proper LOL readng about Denis. I can just picture the earnest orthinologist (anybody with a serious big camera taking shots of the bay at Sa Tuna always strike me as being comical/total twit). How was Denis to know he wasn´t an appropriate place to lift his leg!
He was quite cross...😬
I also loved the image of Denis nonchantantly sauntering off while you were apologising on his behalf and taking the opportunity to snuffle up the ice cream cornet.
Do you think the renting route could work for evening wear in the South of France? Can’t face slogging up to London! Any provincial outlets that you know of?
I just love Dennis - I’m a number one fan. 🥇 🥇 Is that the correct emoji?
I don't but they post everywhere and offer different rental options for 3/5/7 days etc so maybe? And yes it is! He's delighted.
Vinted for wedding outfits! Vinted! Because of EXACTLY the fear you describe, women are buying outfits for weddings, wearing them once, and then STICKING THEM ON VINTED! The place is awash with formalwear. Also heels, worn once in great hope, and abandoned in realism.
I KEEP meaning to get better at Vinted. So this is welcome encouragement, thank you!
Oh Dennis! I’ve been peed on by my father’s ghastly girlfriend’s dog - think the dog sensed my hostility. Didn’t work, he married the gf anyway.
I did well re wedding outfits by having three or four distinct and entirely separate groups of friends so I could recycle each outfit several times before a repeat - also hat + fancy jacket meant I could wear neutral office top, bottoms and shoes and bag with them which lightened the financial load somewhat - this was 1997- c.2008 so not repeating outfits has been a thing for a long time. More recently I found quite a number of wedding appropriate dresses at Gina Bacconi with pretty hefty discounts. It took *quite* a lot of trawling, mind you, and go to the actual website not John Lewis which has a much smaller range, but could be worth investigation if you do want something new. I wouldn’t have been able to risk renting anything due to my propensity for throwing food and wine down my front. VERY high risk and anxiety-inducing.
Ooh don't know Gina Bacconi. Thank you will investigate...
Some of them are, erm, interesting, and never forget the magic of getting a tailor to alter something slightly.