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Jo Thompson's avatar

Love all of these. In ten years’ time add to your ‘things I know at 50’ list: put sized-up pants on the radiator an hour before putting them on

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

LOVELY and cosy, great idea.

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Francesca  Hornak's avatar

So true! I would add, always keep a hairdryer plugged in by the bed to quickly warm up the end for your feet. More efficient than a hot water bottle, nicer than bedsocks x

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Eugenia's avatar

One of your best if not The Best article! With you all the way through the list and comments on life in general.

Well done! 👏👌😊

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

OOOH so thrilled, thank you!

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Melanie's avatar

Happy birthday. I DREADED becoming 40. Thought it was a half way point and that I had achieved nothing, either personally or professionally. Having never worried a minute about age, the lead up to it was awful. The moment I had my birthday, everything was fine and I have found that there is so much joy in many things and the arbitrary goals/boxes we think we have to tick, rarely deliver the promises we think they will in our 30s. It is very liberating, a sort of post 40 boosted sense of ´count your blessings' and carpe diem. Love your Substack.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Exactly! All of the above, and thank you! X

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KateJ's avatar

This is not a related comment, but a "reply" to a previous column on SAS Rogue Heroes. I finished season 2 last night, and as rough as Paddy Mayne is, he'd be wecome to crease my bed sheets anytime. Phwoooaarrr!!!!

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Hahahaha isn't he GREAT. So glad!

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Tessa Broad's avatar

Another great post thank you. Agree on so many of your 40 list especially re knickers a size up, wee opportunities, cards, too small shoes/jeans… just heading off to change my WhatsApp settings. Enjoy your writing break away.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Hoorah, honestly it's a great relief! I kind of forget that I could ever see blue ticks now.

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Dolly's avatar

Hi from a newbie to Substack. Loved every word of this. Have to log off to Google for pearl spitting clock now though. 🛍️

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Hurrah, thank you and so glad!

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Kim Elizabeth's avatar

Loved this all so much! A great read- thank you!

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adrienne eker's avatar

I know i have said this before but it is very relevant now on your special day- i remember my 40th birthday and being so sad inside, despite being outwardly successful. I had a great career, a husband, 2 lovely kids and yet i was desperately lonely, unhappy and going through the motions.

At 42 i met the love of my life and my life changed overnight and was suddenly filled with so much love. I had given up hope of ever being loved and valued. We are now together 20 years. He's much older than me (Im his third wife), and isnt always easy but I am so happy to have met him

I married young, to a good man (i still think so) but from a completely different culture, I wasnt in love but i didnt think that mattered. He was kind and hardworking and that, i thought, was enough. Coming from a house where there was no love (and indeed the opposite) between my parents i had never had expectations of anything apart from stability and quiet.

What i am saying is that we dont know whats ahead of us, and it can be such a wonderful surprise.

You are so beautiful and talented and entertaining and kindhearted, and your substack is such a light in my week (it probably is to all of your readers). I have every book of yours, bought as soon as they are published.

I know this is probably nauseatingly mushy (forgive me) but you are going to have a wonderful year ahead, I am so sure about it.

You absolutely deserve it.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

No no I LOVE nauseatingly mushy when it's quite this lovely, thank you so much. I'm actually so happy post everything last year! Funny how perspective changes really. But I'm excited for this year too and just thank you again xxx

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The Loxley Chronicles's avatar

I can’t wait to read your 50th list. I can advise that a loo roll should not be placed on the holder but on the radiator or towel rail - just for a warm wipe. Wearing shoes inside is perfectly acceptable and having a little sleep on Friday afternoons is too.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

A WARM WIPE. I love that so much!

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Elle Hervin's avatar

You had me at the knickers thing... always, always size up (two sizes up is not outrageous let's be honest). A thoroughly enjoyable read, thank you (from a new subscriber). Elle x

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Agree. I did nearly put two sizes but depending on the knickers you do then run the risk of unsightly sagging sometimes?!

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Elle Hervin's avatar

Valid point. Although, it is so incredibly rare for anyone to get even the briefest glimpse of my undergarments these days that a slightly saggy knicker isn't much of a concern 😂. Comfort first, always! The joys of being 40+ and not giving a shit, eh?!

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Ellie Rickard's avatar

What a great list! 😍 Happy birthday.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

THANK YOU ☺️

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Helen's avatar

LOVE this, especially the one about having a wee when you have the chance - I call this the insurance wee. But I would advocate the Aeropress over cafetière. I’d like to add ‘always have a biscuit/small snack in your bag for emergencies’ as one of my vital life lessons.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

*googles Aeropress suspiciously* And yes to snacks. Dennis also agrees.

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Emily Rose's avatar

Gail’s Waste-less sourdough is unlicensed best sourdough. We eat a lot of it in my house

Re number 29. Reasonable people can disagree, but I very much strongly dislike those posh crisps (yes, you Tyrell’s) which are just not crispy enoughgh. Walkers all the way for me

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Hmmm. I just think it's a bit rough on the roof of the mouth?!

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Sandra's avatar

Happy birthday. Enjoy Wales. Great read, thank you. Loved your list, reassured am doing a lot of those already!

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Hooooray and thank you!

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Wendy Varley's avatar

The golden toilet seat might not be far wrong! A relative of mine who was sales rep for a gold-plating company before he retired, told me that years ago he had had to quote for re-plating gold shower fittings at that Mayfair house, which was fully staffed at all times, just in case the owner dropped by.

Happy birthday!

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

That is FASCINATING. I wonder what the quote was...?!

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Wendy Varley's avatar

I wonder! It was fascinating to hear about the weird things people want gold-plated. Ornamental (I presume) dildos for Ann Summers staff awards. Motorbikes (the metal bits). Guns! Some people have more money than sense!

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Cass's avatar

Love the list. I think ‘silly’ is a bit too kind about Elon Musk. And I have to recommend the Moccamaster: the world’s best coffee maker. Better than a cafetière.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Hmm ok I might take your word for it...

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