I share your discomfort of the pillorying of the Coldplay couple. Since Jon Ronson wrote his excellent book, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, in 2015, in which he interviewed people to whom it had happened, it only seems to have escalated. Down with that sort of thing!
I nearly mentioned that book and then forgot! It was/is so brilliant, and was actually quite ahead of its time I think. I always recollect it when things like this happen. And I remember him making comparisons to medieval mobs etc. So clever.
« But then book snobbery, like all forms of snobbery, is mean and horrible in the way that it can make you feel small for what you like. Read whatever you want to, I always say, and stuff whatever anyone else thinks about it. » - Truer words have never been spoken. Book snobbery is the worst !!
This reminds me so much of the Matt Hancock scandal in the UK — he was our Health Secretary, caught on CCTV kissing his advisor Gina Coladangelo during lockdown (for those who don’t know), while they were both still married. The hypocrisy was wild. The British internet has never let it go… and no one felt sorry for them.
Honestly, the only people I ever feel sorry for in these situations are the spouses. My ex-husband had an affair with a colleague for 18 months — and the whole office knew. When it finally came out, I felt like the last to know. That laughing woman next to the Coldplay couple? She knows. You just know she knows. Maybe a friend, maybe a colleague. Either way, the humiliation hits differently when you realise other people were in on it — and especially if the whole world finds out when you do. Horrifying.
Oh I hadn't thought about the comparison with Hancock. And interesting to hear it from your side. I just worry that THIS level of humiliation for people is so very extreme, even though they were doing a horrible, horrible thing to their other halves/children.
I would love to agree and I am probably biased – but – I think the punishment fits the crime. They were very ballsy to take their affair out from behind closed doors, let alone to a public concert.
If they’re anything like Matt and Gina they’ll live happily ever after… I’d love to know if their ex partners are okay. 😕
Oh I reckon the whole office knew. And now… the whole office knows he spent $40k on only fans… whilst simultaneously having an affair with the HR Chief. The guy has issues. And will probably chalk this all up to an addiction. 🙄
Excellent stuff - bubbles within bubbles-I v rarely eat out because I’d rather buy a plant or a nice vase- but if it’s on someone’s business account, I’ll have whatever I fancy x
YES I am increasingly with you on plants and/or vases, and cooking at home instead. Cosy. And I meant to say on insta but I really really loved your paintings! X
I am book curious and love to know what people I like are reading. I’m also discerning and time poor enough to choose my own! So, thank you for reluctantly listing your choices.
The River Café Café out the front and to the side is an excellent way of eating their food at a much reduced price and on sunny days when you can eat outside, is idyllic
Lots to dwell on here. I need to know what colour my finished tea is going to be, so I milk first, bag on top, then squish it about enthusiastically until it achieves the desired level of ‘done’. Probably that makes me a heathen but so be it. I am going to read the Dennis chronicles as my dog recently died and I am trying to decide what sort of dog to get next, once I can safely contemplate such a thing. Also, the internet is mean. They were daft but also, their poor families.
YES, I like the technical term 'squish'. That's exACTly what I do. And I'm so so sorry about your dog. I'm not *entirely* sure that the Dennis adventures will convince you of a Parson terrier, but it will hopefully warn/remind you of the many joys (!) of a puppy.
See, I think milk in tea full stop is abhorrent. I’m not anti milk as a rule, but I see tea, in my head, as mildly acidic, while milk feels like an alkaline, so adding milk seems to me like adding milk to orange juice (really love the concept of milk in first ‘cooking’ the milk - makes TOTAL sense). Totally get it when it’s bog standard PG Tips, but I drink a lot of loose leaf tea and it seems daft to muddy the flavour of good tea with milk. It’s like those Chinese billionaires who add Coca Cola to fine burgundy. But it distresses me when I go to other people’s houses and they offer me tea and add milk without even asking first. Surely that’s wrong? Even those who like milk will want different amounts of milk. Why don’t people ask??? Tea made by others is an enormous minefield, but I’m the person who takes my own tea with me on holiday and keeps my own teapot and cup and saucer in the office…
I am an ENORMOUS control freak about my tea and really don't much like other people making it for me (which has previously landed me in trouble in relationships), so I totally understand this and am with you!
Oh dear. Sorry but you can’t add milk until the tea has brewed properly - at least a full minute or two, or more if made in a pot (always preferable). Adding milk first means the tea will be off boiling point and not brew properly. Yes, am super fussy (Yorkshire Gold) and always prefer to make it myself! (Also, double up on tea bags in Cornwall or other soft water places to achieve an acceptable strength)
Me too. My husband never tips the water, boiling, from the kettle, which is my gripe. He then leaves it to stew, developing a slightly greasy layer( I know!) and then adds milk to an already lukewarm brew. I can only surmise that he does it deliberately to avoid having to make it…
I feel really sorry for that couple and everyone else involved. If they hadn’t tried to hide I think they might have brazened it out. Were they unkind and stupid; undoubtedly but this internet frenzy is distasteful and the modern equivalent of bear baiting or going to the gallows for a good natter and a cheer. I can’t understand why he’s lost his job over it. Sounds like I’m condoning, and I’m absolutely not, but it’s awful. I don’t think the River Cafe’s for me but somebody very wise once said that things are worth what people are willing to pay. Embrace your inner gardener is what I say, it’s wonderful. I’m not sure Dennis is there yet.
I know I said the same to my sister, about them brazening it out, I mean. But she said you just wouldn't in that scenario, would you? If you were them, and knew what you were doing, you would instinctively duck and hide. Which I think is probably true. And yes am v happily embracing it. I even remembered to put out my garden waste bin this morning which is VERY satisfying as I usually forget, so now it's nice and empty for me to fill up again.
<raises hand> I feel sorry for the Coldplay couple. Life is complicated, we don’t know the full picture, and frankly it’s none of our business. “Distrust all those in whom the urge to punish is strong” said Goethe, and I’m with Goethe on this one.
Tea - use a pot - if it's just for you, buy a small pretty pot that makes you smile . Tea bag in mug more work as you have to dirty a teaspoon to fish out blazing hot teabag- and I think mug gets more stained . You also have either a fresh hot perfectly brewed second cup waiting for you or for a friend . Tip out bag from pot when cold , rinse pot - voila !
Re the Coldplay couple,I agree with Moira. I don’t like the Internet pile-on and I think it is the modern day equivalent of bear baiting or throwing rotten eggs at someone in the stocks. I feel very sorry for the couple’s families, especially the children involved. If they are aware of what’s happening, they must be mortified. I wonder how many of the people piling on have had affairs. Like Moira, I think the couple’s behaviour is deplorable. At least have the grace to be discreet but it’s a private matter not the world’s business.
Coldplay couple. Hmmmm. Whilst I don’t condone the affair I think there genuinely must be a serious connection between them for them to be seen in public together in this way. Not just a bit on the side, something more. And let’s face it, it does happen - we meet and fall in love with other people when, and with whom, we shouldn’t. I feel most sorry for the poor wife (and husband?) for having to find out this way. My contempt is reserved for those giving this so much of their vitriol and outrage yet not saying a word about Gaza or ICE…
I share your discomfort of the pillorying of the Coldplay couple. Since Jon Ronson wrote his excellent book, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed, in 2015, in which he interviewed people to whom it had happened, it only seems to have escalated. Down with that sort of thing!
I nearly mentioned that book and then forgot! It was/is so brilliant, and was actually quite ahead of its time I think. I always recollect it when things like this happen. And I remember him making comparisons to medieval mobs etc. So clever.
Yes! It’s my favourite of his books and still so relevant. I can’t bear houndings.
« But then book snobbery, like all forms of snobbery, is mean and horrible in the way that it can make you feel small for what you like. Read whatever you want to, I always say, and stuff whatever anyone else thinks about it. » - Truer words have never been spoken. Book snobbery is the worst !!
Amen 🙏🏻
This reminds me so much of the Matt Hancock scandal in the UK — he was our Health Secretary, caught on CCTV kissing his advisor Gina Coladangelo during lockdown (for those who don’t know), while they were both still married. The hypocrisy was wild. The British internet has never let it go… and no one felt sorry for them.
Honestly, the only people I ever feel sorry for in these situations are the spouses. My ex-husband had an affair with a colleague for 18 months — and the whole office knew. When it finally came out, I felt like the last to know. That laughing woman next to the Coldplay couple? She knows. You just know she knows. Maybe a friend, maybe a colleague. Either way, the humiliation hits differently when you realise other people were in on it — and especially if the whole world finds out when you do. Horrifying.
Oh I hadn't thought about the comparison with Hancock. And interesting to hear it from your side. I just worry that THIS level of humiliation for people is so very extreme, even though they were doing a horrible, horrible thing to their other halves/children.
I would love to agree and I am probably biased – but – I think the punishment fits the crime. They were very ballsy to take their affair out from behind closed doors, let alone to a public concert.
If they’re anything like Matt and Gina they’ll live happily ever after… I’d love to know if their ex partners are okay. 😕
Allegedly the laughing woman works in HR with the female affair haver. So at least the HR department was aware of the affair, if not the whole office.
Oh I reckon the whole office knew. And now… the whole office knows he spent $40k on only fans… whilst simultaneously having an affair with the HR Chief. The guy has issues. And will probably chalk this all up to an addiction. 🙄
Excellent stuff - bubbles within bubbles-I v rarely eat out because I’d rather buy a plant or a nice vase- but if it’s on someone’s business account, I’ll have whatever I fancy x
YES I am increasingly with you on plants and/or vases, and cooking at home instead. Cosy. And I meant to say on insta but I really really loved your paintings! X
I am book curious and love to know what people I like are reading. I’m also discerning and time poor enough to choose my own! So, thank you for reluctantly listing your choices.
Hurrah ok thank you, I feel vindicated!
The River Café Café out the front and to the side is an excellent way of eating their food at a much reduced price and on sunny days when you can eat outside, is idyllic
Ah I should have said that, good point. I walked past it on the way in/out and it looked FAB.
DID NOT KNOW THIS thankyou
Our bin is underneath the kettle, so we really have no excuse, and yet...
Lots to dwell on here. I need to know what colour my finished tea is going to be, so I milk first, bag on top, then squish it about enthusiastically until it achieves the desired level of ‘done’. Probably that makes me a heathen but so be it. I am going to read the Dennis chronicles as my dog recently died and I am trying to decide what sort of dog to get next, once I can safely contemplate such a thing. Also, the internet is mean. They were daft but also, their poor families.
YES, I like the technical term 'squish'. That's exACTly what I do. And I'm so so sorry about your dog. I'm not *entirely* sure that the Dennis adventures will convince you of a Parson terrier, but it will hopefully warn/remind you of the many joys (!) of a puppy.
Thank you, I miss him terribly. Dennis will cheer me up vicariously though I’m sure!
See, I think milk in tea full stop is abhorrent. I’m not anti milk as a rule, but I see tea, in my head, as mildly acidic, while milk feels like an alkaline, so adding milk seems to me like adding milk to orange juice (really love the concept of milk in first ‘cooking’ the milk - makes TOTAL sense). Totally get it when it’s bog standard PG Tips, but I drink a lot of loose leaf tea and it seems daft to muddy the flavour of good tea with milk. It’s like those Chinese billionaires who add Coca Cola to fine burgundy. But it distresses me when I go to other people’s houses and they offer me tea and add milk without even asking first. Surely that’s wrong? Even those who like milk will want different amounts of milk. Why don’t people ask??? Tea made by others is an enormous minefield, but I’m the person who takes my own tea with me on holiday and keeps my own teapot and cup and saucer in the office…
I am an ENORMOUS control freak about my tea and really don't much like other people making it for me (which has previously landed me in trouble in relationships), so I totally understand this and am with you!
Oh dear. Sorry but you can’t add milk until the tea has brewed properly - at least a full minute or two, or more if made in a pot (always preferable). Adding milk first means the tea will be off boiling point and not brew properly. Yes, am super fussy (Yorkshire Gold) and always prefer to make it myself! (Also, double up on tea bags in Cornwall or other soft water places to achieve an acceptable strength)
Me too. My husband never tips the water, boiling, from the kettle, which is my gripe. He then leaves it to stew, developing a slightly greasy layer( I know!) and then adds milk to an already lukewarm brew. I can only surmise that he does it deliberately to avoid having to make it…
I feel really sorry for that couple and everyone else involved. If they hadn’t tried to hide I think they might have brazened it out. Were they unkind and stupid; undoubtedly but this internet frenzy is distasteful and the modern equivalent of bear baiting or going to the gallows for a good natter and a cheer. I can’t understand why he’s lost his job over it. Sounds like I’m condoning, and I’m absolutely not, but it’s awful. I don’t think the River Cafe’s for me but somebody very wise once said that things are worth what people are willing to pay. Embrace your inner gardener is what I say, it’s wonderful. I’m not sure Dennis is there yet.
I know I said the same to my sister, about them brazening it out, I mean. But she said you just wouldn't in that scenario, would you? If you were them, and knew what you were doing, you would instinctively duck and hide. Which I think is probably true. And yes am v happily embracing it. I even remembered to put out my garden waste bin this morning which is VERY satisfying as I usually forget, so now it's nice and empty for me to fill up again.
I make my tea exactly like you do, except I leave the bag in for longer. Which is probably why I've had to switch to decaf. Hmm.
OH MY GOD I just looked up the River Cafe prices. Now I know why I've never bloody been!
Quite mad right?! And it IS LOVELY but just...cor. And it was heaving! And there was loads of yoof there!
PHEW re tea.
The four stages of a woman’s life. Horses, hormones, HRT and then finally horticulture.
About to embark on my gardening years- which coincides nicely with giving zero fucks. Have never been happier.
Do dogs count in lieu of horses? Don’t ride and have no room for a horse.
<raises hand> I feel sorry for the Coldplay couple. Life is complicated, we don’t know the full picture, and frankly it’s none of our business. “Distrust all those in whom the urge to punish is strong” said Goethe, and I’m with Goethe on this one.
Love this and the books - on the subject of
Tea - use a pot - if it's just for you, buy a small pretty pot that makes you smile . Tea bag in mug more work as you have to dirty a teaspoon to fish out blazing hot teabag- and I think mug gets more stained . You also have either a fresh hot perfectly brewed second cup waiting for you or for a friend . Tip out bag from pot when cold , rinse pot - voila !
Re the Coldplay couple,I agree with Moira. I don’t like the Internet pile-on and I think it is the modern day equivalent of bear baiting or throwing rotten eggs at someone in the stocks. I feel very sorry for the couple’s families, especially the children involved. If they are aware of what’s happening, they must be mortified. I wonder how many of the people piling on have had affairs. Like Moira, I think the couple’s behaviour is deplorable. At least have the grace to be discreet but it’s a private matter not the world’s business.
Coldplay couple. Hmmmm. Whilst I don’t condone the affair I think there genuinely must be a serious connection between them for them to be seen in public together in this way. Not just a bit on the side, something more. And let’s face it, it does happen - we meet and fall in love with other people when, and with whom, we shouldn’t. I feel most sorry for the poor wife (and husband?) for having to find out this way. My contempt is reserved for those giving this so much of their vitriol and outrage yet not saying a word about Gaza or ICE…