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Jacqueline's avatar

Wear what you like on the beach these days. No one is looking because they are all posing for their insta shots. I’m on a Greek island right now so I know whereof I speak. It’s weird. In the past other people on a beach would shoot each other surreptitious glances but now it’s as if everyone is in their own social media bubble. Anyway I can report that cobalt blue is big on Milos and goes well with the sea and sky. Also those bikini bottoms that have no coverage of the buttocks at all, just have a little kind of belt above the buttocks to hold the ‘modesty’ triangle at the front in place. Also I’m 57 and wearing a bikini (with actual buttock coverage) because I am tall (no worries about body length) and like a brown tummy. My tummy is bulgy and fat and looks better in tan. Also as I said no one is looking.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

JEALOUS of Greece but possibly not the influencers. And I think I like pretty fulsome buttock coverage too.

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Jenny Eclair's avatar

Also I am in the one piece for life era of swimming costume - it happens whatever Liz Hurley thinks

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

I used to date a man (a COMEDIAN actually, Jenny) who was on a male whatsapp group that would send one alerts to one another whenever Liz Hurley posted another picture of herself on Instagram. Men...🙄

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Holly Bell's avatar

Good morning! What a brilliant newsletter as always. So… swimwear. I’ve never loved bikinis, even when I was super skinny. I just feel they’re too similar to underwear and on that front I can’t feel comfy in them in public.

Now swimsuits, I too am tall, not as tall as you but I am long bodied, so finding a good swimsuit that doesn’t threaten to do something life changing to my nether regions has been trying over the years. I can report that Marks and Spencer is the only place I buy swimwear from. Specifically anything with tummy control, but then I am three kids deep so there’s a fair amount of skin surplus to requirements these days. Oh and I also like navy blue for a swimsuit. Anyway, I am excited to see comments from other long bodied women and their recommendations! Over and out. x

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Thank you lovely Holly and I AGREE, I like navy blue. No yellowing possibilities there. And we need the M&S website to be up again!

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Melissa Harrison's avatar

PS. If you choose sunscreen that says 'invisible' it generally doesn't have the ingredient in it that makes clothes yellow. Life-changer.

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Jo's avatar

I’m also going to say wear the bikini! People only really notice the very very beautiful aabd young, nd they probably aren’t looking at you, soz. Although I have never seen anyone look good in those big pants ones, even skinny people, and anyone bigger than skinny looks mumsy and like they are trying to hide something . Bikinis that have ties or pretend ties at the sides draw the eyes away and are far more flattering. Also no one really needs tummy control either, they are also mumsy. Get an all over spray tan before you go and you’ll feel great. (I have pale Irish skin, I get a pre hols spray tan and come home whiter than when I arrived 😂) The only time you might actually need a one piece is for water sports if you’re worried about losing tops or bottoms. For all of the above, wear them with panache and you will be the envy of all on the beach.

I wear a bikini, am neither young nor skinny and no one has yet fainted at the sight.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

That's the spirit! The only thing is I SWEAR the big pants are more flattering on me, because the waistband is around my waist rather than my hips, if that makes sense?! V good point re tan. Will add to pre holiday list of things (threading, nails, general depilation...)

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Cali Bird's avatar

Good to know that Next do tall length swimming costumes. I'm 6 foot 1. I used to get mine from Long Tall Sally but their stuff has gone a bit cheap and nasty in the last year or so. I dread to think what their cozzys are like now

And yes, I'm also hanging out for And Just Like That. It's not as good as SATC but I think we watch because we're curious about the characters and know them so well. Charlotte was my fave in season 2.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

I completely agree re the characters. Must be it. But also maybe the houses a bit?!?!? And give Next a go I think they seem pretty good for thirty odd quid!

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Melissa Harrison's avatar

WHERE (I ask, with some exasperation) are the one-pieces for SHORT-BODIED PEOPLE, hmmmm???? HMMMM??? I am TIRED of either having a big WRINKLE at my midriff or a BAGGY NAPPY ARSE.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

SORRY MELISSA as a GIANT who has a bottom that is REGULARLY sawn into FOUR buttocks by one-pieces that are TOO SHORT I cannot help here. Oh to be average, huh?!?!?!

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Mindful Mama Musing's avatar

I’m not sure , but if you have the body go for it! I’ve seen some wrinkly tanned older people in Sicily & Italy wearing bikinis 👙 and honestly , they looked OK 👌 it’s about proportion & perception Id say….

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Claire Sylaj's avatar

Re bikinis - buy separates. I am older than you - by only a few years - I wear swim shorts and a bikini bra top - sized as a bra with wire. Everything in its place - don’t want to embarrass my teens. Last year I got nice ones in decathlon of all places.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

I quite love a Decathlon trip tbf.

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Rachel Elizabeth's avatar

I’m a decade older than you, but still happier in a bikini. Largely because hauling down a wet one-piece when I need a wee is horrible, and also because big boobs/small everything else is rarely well accommodated in a swimsuit.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Hahahaha and even WORSE getting it up again, totally agree.

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Mindful Mama Musing's avatar

Absolutely agree, size 12 bottoms & 36 E top , never found a costume 1 piece that fits well yet, now 61😦!👍

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Caroline's avatar

Ooh I might be able to help here. I have the same measurements and am a total devotee to Fantasie swimwear. Both the bikinis and the one pieces are 👌 The downside is they are not cheap but they are super comfy and they last even when machine washed!

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Mindful Mama Musing's avatar

Thankyou ! I’ll take a look 👀 👍

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Rachel Elizabeth's avatar

PS. I bought the same bra-sized bikini from Next last year in three colour ways. So cheap! And perfect underwire/cup construction, so I didn’t look like I was a la plage in my bra, which is often the case w the cup-sized ones.

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David Arthur's avatar

>For when you’re on the beach but you’ve also got a board meeting in half an hour.

A surf-board meeting, perhaps.

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Jenny Eclair's avatar

Lovely, generously fat column - excellent work

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Also, thank you!

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Becky's avatar

Snorted twice while in a meeting and sneakily reading this. The turd and the slide. Bravo xx

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

HURRAH, job done. As it were.

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Julia Meaden's avatar

I wore a bikini into my 60s - one reason only... I couldn't get a one piece to fit my small bum & big boobs :) different sizes the only way to go..

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Yes I ALWAYS size up the bottoms!

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sophie Stevenson's avatar

Definitely doing that walk!!

Thankyou what a brilliant newsletter x

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

It's SO glorious! You need starchy carbs for the Seven Sisters though.

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June Girvin's avatar

I think wear what you want, but can recommend Deakin and Blue for well-sized swimsuits for different body shapes. They’re not cheap, but they are good.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Always up for recommendations, thank you!

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Sharon March's avatar

Think Next is brilliant for swimwear, I'm long bodied and find them excellent.

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