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Rhian E's avatar

Can’t offer a solution to the dog poo epidemic, but i have noticed an increase, even in semi rural areas.

Poo bag top tip - I am religious in ‘opening’ three ( never needed more!) poo bags before I leave the house before shoving them in my pocket. This means I can take one out of my pocket and swiftly remove the offending article as soon as the little darling deposits it - I barely break a stride 😂

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Hahahaha this may be THE most useful advice anyone's ever given me! INCLUDING all the heartbreak advice. Thank you that is an excellent suggestion.

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Sasha Carnevali's avatar

I do just the same, since otherwise i would need to wet my fingers to pry open the bloody things, and i don’t like to put my hands in my mouth after holding the lead. Also, my dog is always in a hurry to move on and the quicker we end the business, the better.

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Emma's avatar

These substacks are sublime .. I’m keeping this and the previous one to show the kids the poo museum , the husband the valentines cards (who will laugh at all of them) and the cat because it’s not just dogs offending the environment, my 17year old cat had given up on etiquette and I now buy dog poo bags too because she has no qualms of dropping off anywhere in the house. She’s old , I’m sure we all get there at some point …

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Sophie B's avatar

I would love it so much if you could do a tally for what percent of your piece you think will get the most comments, and then share the results in the next one, so dog poo - projected: 45%, actual: 93% ; lampshades -projected: 40%, actual: 13.5%, and so on …

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Sasha Carnevali's avatar

I pick up other dogs’ poo at every walk. Not pleasant but I believe in the broken window theory (“I can’t believe how uncivil people can be” I always say to myself in the process, and even more eagerly and loudly if there’s any passer by that can can hear me and think that I am a saintly woman).

Also, fed-up non-dog-lovers sometimes resort to leaving poisonous bait in the bushes, and that scares the poo out of me.

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Sophie B's avatar

Ooh Jeez poison is surely a criminal offence? Thank you for your good work!

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Sasha Carnevali's avatar

It is, they also dip sponges in meat dripping, which wrecks havoc in their stomach and can kill them. It’s odious.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Just imagine how miserable and embittered you'd have to be to do this!

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Yes exactly that's the one - the broken windows theory! V good of you.

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Alix's avatar

Yes, I agree on the increase of dog poo. The poo bags in trees is weird. Especially if there’s more than one bag it looks like some bizarre offering to the tree god!

I am also very theatrical about picking my dogs poo just in case I get accused. I learnt the open the poo bag at home trick in Canada. You do not want to be faffing around trying to open them when it’s -20!

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

That trick has honestly revolutionised my life this week!

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Coffee Lover's avatar

I'm not a dog owner but I do often litter pick the camel trail near where I live, and the beaches local to me. Dog poos in bags are the most occurring offender, closely followed by bottles and cans. I also don't buy the 'I hang it there to collect on the way back' as so many in situ are evidence that most people do not return or pick them up. I'm sure the occasional person does, but where do the rest materialise from? Winds me up no end, definitely does not make me want to get a dog.

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Jane Miller's avatar

No comment about dog poo - but thank you for the film recommendations - my screen time nicely set up for the 23 hour flight I’m taking on Sunday together with your last two books sitting in my Kindle waiting to be read! Sadly I’ll have to wait until bedtime to read next week’s edition - will be ‘down under’ ! Thanks

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Oh Jane THANK YOU and God speed on the flight!

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Jo's avatar

Those Bloomsbury lampshades are beautiful, have always hankered after one.

Can I also suggest looking at these? This lady paints really lovely ones too, she’s a bit hors de combat atm as she’s broken her leg & in a full leg plaster

https://www.instagram.com/melanie_lewis_lampshades?igsh=MXFvNzBreDNjNDdhNw==

She might even do you a Dennis one…

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

OH I just looked they're sensational! How gorgeous thank you again!

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Jane Miller's avatar

Maybe you could get her to paint Dennis on a couple as side lights!

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Oooh thank you.

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Helen Marini's avatar

I hang a filled poo bag on a tree on my circular walk so that I can pick it up on my way back and don’t have to carry it with me for the whole time. In rural Devon, this works well, but I expect this habit might be less welcome in towns/cities.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Helen I think you might be the first dog walker ever to admit to it! Hadn't ever thought of this tbf.

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Sophie B's avatar

Yes, this is common and reasonable in mildy-suburban Gloucestershire as well, especially since the village has two bins at one end and none at the other - v helpful. My circular walks have minor variations so whenever I left a poo bag en route I’d get home and suddenly realise I’d gone a different way, so I don’t let myself abandon them now!

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Sophie B's avatar

And go back and get it, obviously.

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Coffee Lover's avatar

people claim they do this where I live in Cornwall but in reality people do not pick them up again so there are little bags on the floor and in trees all along paths and the camel trail. Sometimes I take my litter picker and a bin bag and the count ends up in the 20s at least. Also on the beach.

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Emily Rose's avatar

I do this (suburban SE London). There is no bin anywhere near the woods and I’d rather not carry it for 50 minutes :-/ I *do* collect it!

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Emily Rose's avatar

Special no place in hell for the owners who leave dog mess on the footpaths outside my kids primary school. Just ruined some mother’s/ teacher’s day

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Tim Parry's avatar

As ever a lovely chat. Poo probably shouldn’t be discussed in polite society, but always is!

Here in Sydney, dog owners are EXCEPTIONALLY good at ‘picking up’. The miscreants are those who drop their little bag of fun in other peoples household bins; they are beyond contempt!!

Great lampshades

Great cake!!

And the kangaroo treats? Hmm. Kangaroo is a FAB meat; like venison! Worth seeking out for human consumption. Soak in olive oil, season with salt and pepper and cook and serve very rare! You’ll never settle for beef again…

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Emily Rose's avatar

Yes! Another Aussie here. When I go home I’m astonished/ jealous that leaving dog mess is just… not a thing

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

I might take your word for it, Tim...! Don't think we could buy it other than for dogs up here?!

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Sonya Mallett's avatar

The dog pop situation is the same in our small village, it’s ridiculous the amount of crap that is everywhere! As a dog owner myself I find it disgusting other dog owners can just leave massive piles of crap in the middle of the pathway and find it acceptable, it’s bad enough when it’s left on a grass verge but an actual pathway 😡

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

WHOLE LIFE SENTENCE

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Kate's avatar

And also beautiful beautiful lampshades, I’m bookmarking a few on that site, thank you for the rec

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Hurrah, I think they're SO lovely. And original.

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Kate's avatar

I work in a dog friendly garden centre and have never until the last 6 months found poo bags left among the plants on the tables. But probably 2-3 a week now. It really winds me up. Can’t they at least put them in a a bin?

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

OH am so sorry, that is GRIM. What is wrong with people???!

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Elaine R. Frieman's avatar

Your dinner parties sound like they have the best food. Never understand the poo bag thing either but I have a cat. 🐈‍⬛ The lamp shade is lovely and an olive wood lamp is a lovely gift. 🥰🫶🏻

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Well I think it's largely that I'm INCREDIBLY greedy and a feeder. But thank you!

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Sam Butler's avatar

Labradors are growing their own meat now? Clever breed!

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