74 Comments
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Ian Winter's avatar

Restaurant beef: QR codes for menus, everything in the app. That feeling that everything has been “optimised” around you, and it’s not for your benefit.

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Dennis Chanter's avatar

It is certainly getting more difficult to spot scams like the one you had about a supposed parking fine. I've found 'Ask Silver' to be quite helpful (in case you're not aware of it). You simply send a screen shot of the message to them by What'sApp on 07360 495304 and they respond with an assessment of how likely it is to be scam. Better still, if it IS one, they offer to report it for you ... so much easier than having to look up where to report it yourself!

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Oh what a public service this is. AND you're called Dennis too. Gold star, thank you so much!

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Dennis Chanter's avatar

Thanks, I'll wear the gold star with pride (the old-fashioned sort of course). As to having the same name as your faithful hound, well that's a bit of a double-edged sword. Imagine if we lived together ... it could lead to all sorts of confusion, some of it potentially quite embarrassing!

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Melissa Harrison's avatar

I feel perfectly fine about asking for tap water. However, I share your absolute disapproval of being asked if everything is all right. If they're a good restaurant, serving good food and with good service, THEY SHOULD KNOW. My ex-mother-in-law, who I still absolutely adore, used to take me and my ex to a Michelin starred restaurant once or twice a year, as a treat, and over time had developed immovable opinions about what did and did not constitute good service. Once, the waitress at a posh Mayfair venue complimented her on her skirt as we were being led to our table. She was LIVID.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I love that so much. That is almost wonderfully inappropriate.

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Harriet's avatar

I feel your pain on the wine - recently I went for lunch with my family, had to take my daughter to the loo at one point and when I came back they had whisked away my plate. I had really been looking forward to those last few mouthfuls.

That was two weeks ago and I still haven't got over it.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Ha exactly. It feels a bit petty when there's so little left and YET!

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Andrea Donovan's avatar

I’m on the other side and work in a big, famous restaurant where customers often seem to forget their manners. My rage had to go somewhere so I wrote my grievances down ~ https://open.substack.com/pub/andreadonovan/p/25-dos-and-donts-for-dining-at-the?r=9fui0&utm_medium=ios

Also never worry about asking for tap. We only want you to buy bottled water so your bill is higher, your service charge is more and we get a few extra pennies on our pay slips….

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Oooh fascinating ok going to dig into that in a second - thank you!

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Kim Dudley's avatar

Love your thoughts on restaurant dining. Truly believed I was the only person who hated having their last mouthful of wine whipped away, now I feel vindicated. Also can't bear being pestered for my order; Starters before drinks arrive; being rushed through the courses and, as I am quite a slow eater, others' plates being removed whilst I'm still eating.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

STARTERS BEFORE DRINKS. V good point. Dementing.

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Clare Marsland's avatar

Restaurant pet peeves.. being rushed, eating out is so expensive now and the amount of times you've only just finished your starter and your main is being lobbed at you. Also and probably for the same reasons, although rare but has happened, starter received before drinks. This is unforgivable.

Cannot wait for the book.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Someone else mentioned the starters before drinks thing and I sososososo agree. Often in places where you've been given a 90 minute slot for a hallowed table 😐

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Moira's avatar

Oh just look at Puppy Dennis; can’t wait to read. Hope writing it achieved some sort of catharsis for you, Sophia. 🌸

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

I think so! Funny reading it back now too, from then to now. Makes me want to keep up with keeping a diary. So many little moments of life that are lost otherwise.

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Stephen Thomas's avatar

Yes, this is a must read book from you. Very much looking forward to it. Quite a change, congrats.

Yes, all stains, I say cold water (if water is appropriate), never hot as that sets the stain. It could be a tough one though - good luck. Trevor may well be right though yes. Use a cotton wool bud to apply (you will need many)!

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

I fear I may... But it's a handy tip as I'd never heard it. I bought Dennis some of those sock/boot things too, but then of course he thought he was being tortured while I tried to put them on...

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Ashley's avatar

Whilst in Miami (work trip) I asked for tap water. The waiter raised an eyebrow and said madam I think you mean a jug of water…

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Yes in the US you quite often just get free 'iced' water no? Immensely civilised.

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Pam B's avatar

Americans love tap water! We are perennially thirsty in Europe, goes the cliche that is usually true. Most of us lugging around Emotional Support Water Bottles to get through the day ;)

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Ashley's avatar

Exactly - as you sit down, which alleviates the awkwardness and often being left gasping for water in UK!

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Sandra's avatar

Great instalment this week too.

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Sandra's avatar

I really dislike paying for water when eating out, predominantly because they overcharge massively I feel. As a result I’m now very good at asking for water for the table.

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Gari Gold Richardson's avatar

Thanks for the summary on “guys.” It’s been going on for ages. I once lifted my fork slightly to indicate I might stab a waiter while he attempted to lift my plate. He understood. It was more than 30 years ago so bon chance. Keep up the good fight.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

The thing is I say guys the whole time ('Hey guys' to friends etc) so I feel a bit of a hypocrite criticising it. But quite different in a restaurant maybe...?

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Gari Gold Richardson's avatar

Thanks for the reply. I’ve never felt particularly supported for this pet peeve of mine. I feel that language is like clothing. I’d wear shorts and a sweatshirt to roast smores and be around the fire with everyone. All the “guys.” If I’m out or dinner and ordering wine I don’t like the waiter saying “so guys are we having red,…. white, tonight?” Hey, maybe pull up a chair? I mean, I’m not standing by their station asking about what about after desert? Lines aren’t about class but structure and can be crossed easily if all are interested.

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Kate Harwood's avatar

If anyone picks up my glass with that precious final sip I shriek. My husband also shrieks…he knows it’s my bugbear. I have, once or twice, got a free slosh to say sorry….

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Hahaha it's such a tiny thing but SO ANNOYING!

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Rachel Carruth's avatar

Real, honest and very funny. Thank you, Sophia for my morning smile! ☺️

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Mícheál Barry's avatar

A restaurant pet peeve: the lighting! Often so dark it is almost impossible to read the menu without holding it dangerously close to a candle or feeling like I need to fish out my iPhone and put on the flashlight... I'm all for atmosphere (and ideally lighting that makes me look my very best), but come on!

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

Yes AGREE. V good point.

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Cheryl  Queen of Markets's avatar

Number 6 in the wait staff to do list. I have never, ever had a waiter give the price of a special which leaves the customer (me) in a quandry, trying to work out if it will be too expensive to order, and feeling like I will be labelled 'cheap' if I ask how much. No customer should be put in that position.

And tap water. If I'm offered still or sparkling, the waiter will get a hard Paddington stare and a firm request for tap water.

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

I'm with you. I can't imagine ever asking how much a special is. Which is maybe a bit feeble of us but there we go. It WOULD feel shaming!

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Cecilia At The Kitchens Garden's avatar

I have and will most definitely still whisper 'sotto voce' to the server if they touch my unfinished wine glass. Nope, I say leaning back with a smile to swipe the glass out of their hands. That last drop is critical to my dining experience! That is the worst!

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Onwards and Sideways's avatar

It IS critical!

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